I had forgotten how much I liked me, not the miserable me, but the old me, who is also now the new me. I took the t.v. out of my bedroom so I would actually spend more time with me and I'm really glad I did it. I am actually writing again, and organizing, and doing decorative paint, and generally really enjoying the pleasure of my own company.
I think that that is becoming a lost art today, enjoying the pleasure of your own company. Really enjoying being yourself, by yourself. I am exceptionally clever and witty, if I do say so myself, and it's a great pleasure to actually listen to myself think. I had forgotten how much I loved "me" time, and "me" space. I had forgotten how truly delicious it is to be absolutely selfish, not because you are being selfish towards someone else, but because there is only you. Before I fell in love and got married to my soon to be ex, I had come to the decision that I really didn't ever want to get married. I liked being able to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I liked having my own room. I liked the fact that if I decided that I should upholster all of my furniture with zebra striped velvet, I could.
I was concerned that being in a relationship with another person would cause me to have to sort of break up with myself, and it turned out that I did eventually diss myself. Well me, I'm sorry, but I'm going to do my damnedest to make it up to myself now and Perfect Midnight Iris is just the beginning. What a future do I have in store! And I can't wait!
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