A Mermaid Tale

There once was a fairly attractive maiden who had become very dull.  She had learned to effectively turn herself off and lived rather smoothly in that eternal state of cruise control that everyone likes to pretend they aren't on.  She had the memory of something lodged in her head, some glimmer of something she thought might actually be rather nice if only she could clearly remember what it was.  She'd get a flash of it every now and then, but it was as if each flash appeared on a thin veil of smoke, it was wispy and wavy and quickly disappeared.  She had forgotten how to smile, but didn't realize it.

Then the maiden went on vacation and she remembered something.  She remembered she was beautiful and creative and magical.  She started to remember herself again, she started to smile.  But there was still a part of her that was missing, something integral to her being, but she still couldn't put her finger on it.

She came home and smiled again.  She came home and started to create, and the more she created, the more she smiled.

One day she was sitting on the beach and a quirky, yet dashing Sea Captain said to her "Morning Miss Mermaid, how are you today?"

Then she remembered.  She remembered that she had been a mermaid and it all came rushing back to her, each glorious memory of independence and failure and triumph.  Each mermaid moment of beauty and despair.  She remembered.  The Sea Captain made her remember.  She remembered she was lured to the land years ago by another Captain who had been lovely and sweet and kind.  Miss Mermaid had shed her tail to be with him.  At first she still remembered how to swim and be beautifully mermaidish, she visited the water often to float and frolic, but as time wore on she went less frequently.  Slowly she started to forget how to swim, and little by little she forgot that she was magical.

Oh how wonderful it was to be a mermaid again!  The water flowing over her body and hair never felt better.  She dove and and danced through the waves racing Mother Nature.  She sat on the rocks sunning herself and her creativity poured through her veins.  Magic!  She vowed that she would never forget again that she was a mermaid, never, ever, ever.

She was so happy, and she thanked the Sea Captain who turned out to be rather lovely and sweet and kind as well, this Sea Captain who had seen the mermaid in her.  She was amazed that he saw through it all and recognized it, and she was so proud again to be a mermaid.  She flashed her tail proudly and swam, but there seemed to be much fewer mermaids in the water this time, much less than she remembered.

As the Sea Captain turned out to be rather interesting, she found herself wanting to spend more time on land however.  He was funny, and very smart in that "interesting smart" kind of way.  He was stoic and intense and she sensed he had a soft vulnerability hidden somewhere under all of the neatly laid layers and lacquer of his being.  She was intrigued by him and though it started rather slowly, she started to spend more time on land.

One day Miss Mermaid was lounging on the land thinking about the Sea Captain, and BAM, a force of clarity hit her full on.  She realized why there were less mermaids in the water, she realized it was because of Sea Captains.  The mermaids were going on land to be with the Sea Captains and forgetting they were mermaids.  Once the mermaids began to forget they were mermaids, the Sea Captains forgot as well.  It was all rather sad.  For you see, it's usually the mermaid that joins her Captain on land, rarely does the Captain join the mermaid in the water, that's why you don't hear of many mermen.  The mermaids just slowly adapt, assuming that it's part of their nature.


Dive back in.  Dive back in.

How pissed am I?

I was supposed to be leaving for Key West tomorrow.  I was headed to Fantasy Fest on what was supposed to be an epic "girls road trip"...........well it got screwed up.  I have been successfully avoiding thinking about it but as the moment of my intended departure nears, I grow increasingly more annoyed.

I have my sexy pirate outfit, my twisted fairy outfit, and my new red corset for my red herring costume - yes that is a very clever idea!  I even was considering getting painted, or at least just wearing my pink sequined tassels as a top, but nooooooooooo, I'm stuck here. 

So I thought fine, I'm wearing my fairy costume out on Saturday - my blue corset, the tutu I made and my awesome light up fairy wings and I don't care if it's too over the top for here.  But no, the person I was supposed to go with, didn't take off Saturday night.  So how pissed am I?

The Captain was right.

So my friend, The Captain, is newly divorced and has been a great person to talk to about this journey of separation and eventual divorce.  He's been a great sounding board since none of my good female friends have been through this.  When the initial friendship started, he told me that once he finally made the decision to separate and divorce, and made it public, a lot of people he knew came to him and said that they wished they could do the same, that they weren't happy in their marriages.  As our friendship has continued we continue to discuss this, and he is ever the man ready with statistics on how truly unhappy people are in their marriages.


I chalked that up to sort of being a man thing.  I certainly believed him that people confided in him, but I didn't really think it could be that significant of an amount.  Not that I thought he was exaggerating, but in a situation like this, I figured even just a few people would seem like a lot.

Well, I'm sorry I underestimated the amount of unhappily married people out there who are willing to share once you come out and tell them first.  It's like a secret club, seriously! Now that my separation is public, so many people do indeed tell me how miserable they are.  The common theme amongst the women seems to be that they have lost themselves.  I feel like I should organize a local group to hang out and discuss the process.  Not a self help group, ewww.  An "I lost myself and am working really hard to get myself back because I really liked my old self"  kind of group, for men and women.  We could discuss our favorite things to do during "me" time, have dinner parties where no dates are allowed, go out to bars and make fun of drunk people hooking up on the dance floor, challenge each other to try new things.

We could be "The force of me," group.  When meeting new people you might casually ask "Are you a friend of me?"  If they answer yes, they can join.  And of course our motto will be "It's always me o'clock somewhere."  Guess I need to get those t-shirts printed!